Inspiration to Keep Going

Once again my hero Brené Brown posted an interview on her blog today with Susannah Conway who wrote a book called This I know.  It looks interesting and spoke to me about the work I have done so far in this journey of my life. 

Susannah said,

"I believe that by being the best and most healed version of ourselves we can truly make a difference in the world. I’m not an activist or politician, and I’m not able to have any direct impact on the areas of the world where help is needed. But what I can do is make a difference in the small pocket of the world I call home.

I can live with integrity and be honest about my feelings, even when they hurt. I can put my whole heart into my work and pay forward the generosity that was shown to me when my world fell apart. I can look after myself, knowing that by healing my own hurts I won’t be passing them on to anyone else. In a society like ours, filled with so many emotionally wounded people acting out their pain, this is possibly the most important work we could ever do—heal our hurts so we don’t pass them on."

I love this,  I believe that if we can heal the hurts we have, we don't have to pass them on to anyone else.  I grew up in a home where the first response was always loud and shaming. Yell, scream, belittle!  When my kids were young I found myself doing the things I promised myself I would never do.  It was the pattern I knew, the one I grew up in.  Yell first, maybe ask questions later, but I should be right, after all - I'm the mom!  Now my kids are older, and I hear the same pattern coming out of their mouth. Especially my oldest, he is the best at the yelling, because he had such a great example in me for the longest period of time.   Every time I hear him over-react I cringe, It sounds so familiar and I know where he got it... from ME!

I believe that by changing my patterns now ( even though I was not a great example of healthy living for many years) I can teach even him a better way to deal with his frustrations.  There is always time to fix the pattern, it's never too late.  I apologize regularly to him for the mistakes I make daily.  I want them all to know that I know I still make choices that I'm not sure about and that I recognize that I have room for improvement. 

 This work is hard, but I see the benefits when I really practice the things I have learned on my journey.  I know that my children will be better for the work I am doing now.